TOWARDS A BRIGHT, HOPEFUL AND LOVELY FUTURE.
My names are Kembabazi Elizabeth Mercy, and I would love to share with you my life experienced story. I am a Ugandan by nationality; aged 23 years. I was born on 4th march 1988 and am HIV positive, still living a single life. I am born in a family of four children, both same mum and dad, with a step sister from my mother’s side. I grew up not knowing my dad, but most of the things am going to tell you, were told to me by my late mum before she passed away seven years way back. One day my lovely mum lived happily with my dad, whom I grew up not knowing at all since I was still young. They had their first three beloved children, Doreen Mugisha Kansiime and Donald Mugisha Muhimbo .who are my brother and sister today. Plus the late Muhumuza Denis, who was my brother before he passed away some time back? Mum and my funny dad, loved their first children very much. One day my mum decided that they should hire a house maid who will take care of their children, because by then, my mum had got a job in UCB Bank, therefore, she wouldn’t have time to take care of them.
So my mum, employed the house maid, then after a little while, our dad started to fall in love with her. Which latter on led my mum and dad into a serious misunderstanding. Where by mum wanted to talk to dad about the same issue. I was told that, before she had finished talking to him, my dad started beating my lovely mum so terribly which later on, led them into a serious separation. My dad packed his things and moved out of his matrimonial home. He went to leave with his new wives. The reason I say that, is because I had that my dad had many women that he loved. So one day my dad came back home, claiming that he had come to check on their first three children. And whenever he could come, he always wanted to sleep over at home.
Later on after a short period, my late mum became pregnant and she decided to inform our dad. The moment she informed him, I was told that she was beaten seriously. My dad told her that he never wanted to have any more children with her. So he told her to abort the pregnancy. But I don’t know where my mum got the strength and courage, because she used to fear my dad so much because of the way he used to treat her. She told my dad that she wasn’t going to abort the pregnancy. When my dad found out that my mum was too serious about what she had said, he decided to disappear for a very long period of about eight months. After a period of eight months, my mum gave birth to a lovely little baby girl named Kembabazi Elizabeth Mercy. After a short period of time, the doctors told my mum that her baby has a problem, the baby couldn’t breathe. But my mum answered them that, me I don’t give birth to dead babies; mine has to come back to life. So she begged the doctors in Mbuya hospital to first wait to take away the baby from her, but they wouldn’t listen.
There was a white lovely doctor, who was touring around the hospital, she heard my mum’s voice, and then she talked to the other doctors, so they left my mum alone. This lovely white doctor, stayed with my mum, the whole night through. So during the night while my mum was still asleep, this lovely doctor witnessed the beautiful baby girl gaining back her life, by coughing out what she had swallowed. Then she awakened my mum with too much surprise and eventually, they were both very surprised and so happy. Every doctor in the hospital was filled with awe. So the white doctor said to my mum call that baby, the name Elizabeth. But remember, our mum had a secret behind that very name that the white lovely doctor had given to her lovely bouncing baby girl.
So my mum went back home rejoicing and giving glory back to the supreme God. After four days after when my mum had finished giving birth to her new baby,(Elizabeth)my dad came home pretending that he had come to see the new born baby, but the truth was that he never loved her. Because of what he had told my mum, that she wanted her to abort the pregnancy. So later on, after he had spent a day at home, he asked my mum that, what name had she given to the baby. Then my mum answered him that the baby had no name. But remember that, its not that the baby never had a name, but it was just that, she knew the type of husband she had.
That’s when my dad was like; let this baby be called Dorothy. He never gave that name any meaning, but it was just because he was in love with letter D.My mum never liked that name because, she had her reasons as to why she never liked the name. So at times when my dad wasn’t around, I was told that she used to call me the names she wanted me to have. As time went on, after two years, my mum realized that she was pregnant again. By the time she realized that, our dad had already disappeared again and this time round, he had disappeared for good. My mum decided to keep the pregnancy and that’s when she gave birth to another, bouncing, beautiful, baby girl who is our last born and she’s called Dorcus whom we suspect to also be HIV positive.
One day my elder brother fell seriously sick, and he was admitted in old Mulago hospital. My mum suffered so much to see that, she was going to lose her lovely bright son Denis. She went to see our dad and talk to him about the condition that their son was in, but I was told that our dad wasn’t bothered at all. So she went back to the hospital, only to find that her lovely son was put on Anoxgyen machine, because he couldn’t breathe so well.
Latter on the lovely Denis, passed away. Our mum had to go through such a hard time that, while she was preparing to burry her son, also her dear daughter Elizabeth fell so sick. She didn’t know what to do. But she prayed to God, to save the life of her lovely daughter. So later on late Denis passed away, and they informed our dad about it, as usual he wasn’t bothered at all. Denis was buried and that closed his chapter of life. May his soul rest in internal peace. I heard that late Denis loved me so much and he never used to leave my side. After that, another life opened in Elizabeth’s life. I grew up sickly and rejected at the same time due to , falling sick most of the time. One day I developed a kidney problem that was when I was about four years old. I was treated and so I went back to school and that’s how I started being discriminated.
During my primary five, my mum started falling seriously ill while developing wounds allover her body. So time came and she fell seriously sick. Every month and every week. She started growing thin while developing daily nausea. One day every one started rumor mongering that she has HIV, though I didn’t know about it, and I wasn’t sure of any thing at that time. But time came and every one started rejecting her. No one wanted or was willing to continue helping her and, the few sisters she had, surrendered her to death. They said that her time is up so she should be moved to the village, so that they wait for her to die from there. Time came they tried to talk to my sister whom I follow ,that she should come and take care of her sick mother, but she answered them that she’s tired of taking care of some one who doesn’t get healed. Also she said that she had to study. Though it was a period of studying, there was some one who was willing to give up her studies so that she takes care of her sick lovely mother.
And that was me. I had seen what was taking place, and what was happening at that time. Just because of the too much love I had towards my mum, some one who was always there for me when I was still young taking care of me when I was sick, I decided to step out after remembering her love towards me and, I said that; am doing it for better for worse and all in the name of love, to help my beloved mum. Since there was no one willing to take care of her any more? I had to tell her that, mum am going to stop going to school for awhile, not until you get better. But she told me that, my daughter, I wouldn’t love seeing you seated and not going to school, as in, not going to study. She said to me, even if you are always falling sick most of the time, I still want the best for you. So please, at least study while you take care of me. then she said to me that, thank you for stepping out for me and try to face the challenges of life at your age, by accepting to take care of me while am in this critical condition, where by I can’t move and support my self. By then, I was only fifteen years old.
That was when; she got admitted at new Mulago hospital, although she used to get her treatment by buying it, at, J.C.R.C. stores. By then, I didn’t know any thing about the JointClinicalResearchCenter. Because I grow up not knowing that I was born HIV positive and that my mum had it too. So after a while, I took care of my mum while she was admitted in the hospital. one day, I had to sit for my papers for my examination, that was the third last term of the year, and by then I was in my primary five level (P.5), and I had to sit for my end of year exam, so that I could get promoted to another class, because some classes I could repeat them, due to over falling sick, and at times I could miss the exam papers .Luckily enough, there was some teacher who talked to the head mistress of our school where I was by then, Buganda Road Primary School, so the head mistress accepted.
She accepted that, they should bring the exams to the hospital, so that I could sit for them from there. After knowing that I was among the best students and I had to take care of my sick mum, who needed me the most at that time. Time came when I had finished my four papers that were, English, mathematics, science and socialstudies.the doctors couldn’t continue giving my mum the treatment she needed and her condition was worsening. she had gone so broke, that even the piece of land, she had bought to build for us a house, that we shall be staying in, when she happens to be gone, as in if she happens to die earlier. it had to be sold so that she can get treated.
When no one felt like helping her any more at all, my mum was taken to her home village so that she can wait for death from there. Remember, that I hadn’t told you that, people never wanted me to go with her. But me, I wanted because I was done with my exams, and my heart, soul, body and strength were yearning, crying out loud, wanting to go with my beloved mum ,so that I could take care of her. Just because I knew that, she was going to be abandoned there. So, I did every thing that I can, like crying alot, rejecting food, and sleeping on the floor, so that I can be taken to be with my mum, so that I could take good care of her. I had to do all this, not because I was brought up in a bad way, but just because I wanted to take care of my mum.
I wanted to show my mum that, at least among the four children, though the three weren’t willing to cope with the situation, I wanted her to see that it’s not all of us. At least there was the weakest of all her children, not so strong, but loving, caring and merciful beloved daughter, Elizabeth, who was willing to give her any kind of support, comfort, love, care that she could need through that period. One day I was taken to her home village where she was. And I was very happy to see her, and she was happy to see me too. Time came and her condition worsened, she couldn’t speak, as in she could speak once in a while and she became so selective. She only loved and wanted me only. She could only speak to me and at the same time she could only hear me. But the rest could try their best to see that she speaks with them, but she couldn’t. Whenever they could try to talk to her, her mouth ends up getting blocked. That she couldn’t speak, and her ears could end up not hearing at all any one of them apart from me.
At times, if some one could come to visit her ,I had to go close to her ear, and start to scream and shout by calling her ,mum,mum,you have a visitor., because by then, her ears couldn’t hear very well they were starting to become deaf. I remember one day, just because she couldn’t move or turn her self, she vomited a lot and at the same time having a terrible diahorea.the room was all messed up and it was having a terrible smell. And that was the time, when my aunt, her elder sister, had to tell me that, you have to make sure that you clean up this mess and also take out your sick, HIV, positive, dying mother out of here and clean her up.
I stood a side and first cried out in silence. The only thing that some one could see, were tears coming out from my eyes or falling down from my eyes. But, I didn’t know that my mum had gained back her senses after what had happened. She called me, and said to me that Elizabeth, please forgive Me., I didn’t mean to put you in such a terrible situation at your age. Then she looked at me once again and asked me, what’s wrong with you, and why are you crying? Just because of the pain and the painful situation she was going through, I looked at her and told her that mum, am very sorry, but it’s not your fault that you and I, have to go through all this by our selves, and am not crying because of you. But it’s because of the words that your elder sister my aunt, has said to me. She spoke as one, who is so heart less. And it’s the thing that is making me cry.
Then I told her that, mum, don’t worry, I will be by your side all the time no matter what happens. My mum her dream was to see me study and focusing towards a bright future. but I told her that mum I will study in God’s permitted time., but for now let me first take good care of you .because I can’t abandon you now that I know that, no one loves you and want to take care of you. I will be by your side not until you get better. For the school issue, it will come later after when you are feeling well and getting better.
Not knowing that one day like this, she will not be with me. And not knowing that one day she’s going to leave me lonely and suffering. I did all that I could do to see that she gets healed and feel better. Did all that I can, to see her living today and not seeing her dead as it is now? I did all that I could in my power as a child and at the same time as a young girl by then hoping for the best results, and not knowing that, one day I will watch my beloved mum die in my own hands.
On the next day, during the after noon at 2:00pm, she asked me to give her a basin, that I should also support her by lifting her; she told me that she wanted to vomit (she wanted to through up). not knowing that, that vomit wanted to take her life., not knowing that, that it wanted to steal my beloved mum away from me, and not knowing that, that it wanted to take my mum’s life forever to eternity, and never for me to see her beautiful, lovely tough face, and also hear her lovely tough voice ever again in my entire life on earth.
But before she died, she had told me her last word .But for me by then, I didn’t notice that they were her lovely last words for me, from her. She had said to me that, my daughter, never give up on life and never give up on what you want to achieve in life, always persist and try your best to see that you are happy, because you have got a bright future ahead of you. A future that you can not see but only God. I was forced to ask her what kind of future she was talking about. She answered me by saying that, you have special names, and I heard and got them from the vision dream I, had about you on the same day you were born. She told me that, all your names have meanings, as in back ups.meaning that they were different from the name that, my weird dad had given to me.
Then I asked her what names? And what meanings did they have? She answered me by saying, your true names are, Kembabazi meaning peaceful or a peaceful person. Elizabeth meaning, the blessed one, the faithful one, and the one that God cares for. For Mercy she first kept silent then she told me that, it means one who is merciful and helpful. She told me never to use them, if I don’t like them and never to tell any one about them or never to say them out not until, I feel like, I love them and I would love to use them. And that was the exact thing I did, in the right time and at the right moment in my heart after her death.
Our late mum loved us so much, that she could do any thing to see that we are well, healthy happy and joyful. She died on Wednesday at 2:00pm; in the month of February 2002.i don’t think that that shock will ever disappear from my life.
MAY HER SOUL REST IN ENTERNAL PEACE
After the death of my late beloved mum, it’s as if they had told every one to start rejecting us, me my two sisters and my elder brother. But to make it worse, they hated and rejected me so much, to the extent of wanting to kill me with there own words and cans inclusive. One day, after the burial of our late beloved mum, we had gone back to Kampala and we had spent some thing like two, to three weeks. And that’s when I started hearing rumors that, our late mum had died of HIV.
But you know what? When you are still young, or when you are still a kid, there are some things you don’t care about and you don’t feel like, wanting to know. So that was me by then. Time came and I went back to school, to continue my studies, so that I can try to finish my primary level. Remember, our late mum had died and she hadn’t built for us a place or house to stay in. so she left us into thin air. We were living in a rented house, and the landlord throw out our things due to too much debts that our mum had left behind. No one was willing to take care of us at all. By then every one was saying that, they also had their own responsibilities. But when it came to me, I started falling sick and developing funny wounds. Then some one told my step sister, the one our late mum had introduced to us as her fist born child from out side our family that she should take care of me not until I am done with my primary level.
That woman, she never loved us, not even a single moment. she was some one, brought to us, to come and live with us, and one day almost every day our late mum could go to work; that was when she could start beating us and tying me when am sick and plus my fellow brother and sisters up near the ceiling, and she could leave us swinging in the air, then she goes to look for a cable of the flat iron, so that she can start beating us very well with out us touching her. So one day when I was sick, I remember I was around seven years, my late mum took me to a near by clinic. After wards, I had to be injected. So in the remaining days, where they had injected me, on my first left butt, it started swelling, and inside that swollen part, it was as if there had started developing pus.so,I was taken for an operation for my left Butt.
Reaching the hospital, the nurse told my mum, we shall have to operate her left Butt to see that, we remove the pus and we try to be dressing her. As in dressing the operated part. That thing was so painful that it could lead me to tears almost, like every day. One day the nurse told my late mum that, I have to be taken for the daily dressings of the operated part. So she did it for the first two days, then later on, she told my step sister to be the one, to be taking me for the remaining days for the wash and dressing of the wound. But what that step sister did to me; it is only I and the Almighty God who can tell. That woman taught me a lesson that I would never forget in my entire life though I do still forgive her.
You know what she used to do? Whenever she was given money for transport to take me to the clinic, she could save it, and make me move in the short cut bushes going to the clinic. We could move while she’s beating me with a Cane and making me to walk by force, whether I liked it or not. She could make me move by force though I was in pain, while she’s beating, pulling and pushing me at the same time, as if I was an animal. But during that time, we couldn’t report her to our mum because we knew that if, we dare report her; she could kill us, as soon as she leaves for work. So we could keep silent about the way she was treating us. Not until one day, she really gave me hot strokes and canes which led me to collapse for about three times. So I became unconscious. but luckily enough when I collapsed, the third time, some neighbor at our place by then ,ran and told our late mum that, today all your children are going to be killed. It seems that our step sister by then, she had promised that one day she will have to kill us. So the neibour al so had to tell her that, one of them we are not sure whether she’s still alive or dead. That day my late mum came running with the policeman, then that was the time where by our step sister was chased away from her mother’s home because of ever wanting to kill me.
So she had hated me for that reason. Then that day, when she was told to take care of me until am done with my primary level. I got so scared and I asked my self what was going to happen to me if I stay with this rough woman. Won’t she try to kill me again, just as she has ever tried to do to me when I was still a kid. Thinking and asking my self such questions, it’s because I knew she was capable of killing me. As soon as I had finished asking my self those questions, she said to me that, ahaaa, finally I have gotten you. I will teach you a lesson you will never forget in your entire life. When she said that, I got to know that more fuel has been added on the fire.
One day, I developed a tumor around my left eye and also, I had a high temperature, due to the too much pain that I was going through. Many people advised her to take me to the hospital, but she refused. She answered that, am also a doctor and I know how to treat stupid people like this one when they are sick. I had nothing to do. She went across the road and, she bought a razor blade. After when she was back, she tied me up my hands, legs and my head too. Then she told me not to either to disturb her nor to shout for her.
She got the razor blade and cut the tumor that was on my eye all at once. She didn’t even pity me though am well to day. But that was the day I knew that, one day she might kill me before I die. Inside my heart, I concluded by saying that for sure, this woman is such a heartless person. So after that, the pus that was coming from the tumor went on her finger by mistake. She truly gave me a very hard, hot slap right direct in the painful tumor. I had no other choice other than screaming for help. Then she asked me that, whom, you are calling for help that gave birth to you. Unless you want to go and UN burry your dead mother from her grave, so that she can come and save you.
So one day she went to my school and told the teachers and the rest of the student in my class room that I have HIV and that my late mum also died of HIV too. So the teachers started to discriminate me in the class room, and so did the students. So one day, they also started rejecting me too.me,after the death of my lovely mum, and after all that my step sister had told the teachers and the students, I was made to sit alone on my own desk in my very class room. Teachers made sure that I was at least like four meters a way from the rest of the students. Almost every one in school started rejecting me and they also started to discriminate me too, just because of what they found out about me, that I have HIV just like my late mum.
One day, I tried to make friends out of my class room but it was all in vain, because every friend I could get was told that I have HIV. And immediately they happen to hear that, that could be the end of our friend ship. So that’s how I started living a rejected, discriminating, lonely, sorrowful and unhappy life.
This kind of life led me to some where I had never wanted to be. I ended up wanting to commit suicide. But God always protected me from that. Time came after my primary level and I had finished my primary leaving examination, I was at home and my step sister tried to beat me up to death with a cable of the flat iron, just because of a small mistake I made, by breaking a glass which I didn’t mean to break. She also told me that, why don’t you go away from here, because you might even infect my children. But I, by then I feared HIV and I never knew that I had it within me. Just because of to much harassment and to much suffering, I decided to run away cause I was so weak and they were making me over work, doing hard work most of the time, while also they were over beating me as if they were tired of me living with them. So I decided to find my way out to another life and I missed the chance of seeing my primary seven results.
The situation wasn’t easy for me at all .so I decided to make friends with my own intention by helping them while they help me too. I could for example wash their clothes as in doing the laundering for them so that they could accommodate me, because I never had any where to stay. As time went on, I found out that I couldn’t go on like this, living such kind of life. The more I used to help people just because they were helping me, they could end up manipulating me. So I concluded by saying I have to settle down by finding a place to stay. But I couldn’t, so I ended up going to stay with my aunt, the one that my late mum used to follow. This aunt of mine wasn’t financially stable. But I had to go there so that she can help me by accommodating me. Though this woman wasn’t financially stable, she was a very funny woman.
There where some words she used to say to me, and they could really hurt me deep down in my heart, though I never had any choice other than bearing them. She used to tell me that, since you have HIV, I can’t help you for a long period of time, people in your condition are very hard to stay with and they are capable of dying at any time, because they are always falling sick and collapsing too at the same time. She said to me that, am really very sorry, but you can sleep over for a night and tomorrow morning you can go find some where else to stay. So when I was going, the next day, early in the morning, she said to me that, if you’re late mum had built a house for you before she died, you would be staying in it and not moving from one place to another, bothering people. When she had finished saying those words to me, she told me now you can go. I wish you the best in life. as soon as I left my aunts place, I went moving going to find some where to stay, I sat under a tree, and I started wondering where I was going to stay and asked my self that, who am I? And where did I come from? And why was I born and created to suffer like this? And why should I be putting up with all this sufferings and miseries? After asking my self all these questions, I said to my self, after all every one thinks that I have HIV. Though it was the truth, but I didn’t know by then. So I concluded by saying that, its better I die. So I looked for the rope and failed to get it. And I never had any coin on me.
So I came back sat under the same tree and wondered where I could get the rope from cause I really wanted to finish off my self by committing sucide.but remember, I never wanted to kill my self ,it was only just because of too much suffering. I found out that I couldn’t live like this any more. And that’s why I wanted to kill my self. But surprisingly, it clocked night; I ended up sleeping in the very same tree I wanted to hang on my self.
After I had spent two days sleeping in the tree, I was very hungry and feeling very sick, due to too much coldness while I was sleeping in that very same tree like a monkey. I had spent two days minus eating or drinking any thing because where I was, I never knew any one from there who could have pity on me and it was also some kind of a bushy area. After awhile, I decided to go find some thing to eat as well as some where to stay. As I was still moving, I met some one who was a Good Samaritan and at the same time my first true campus friend. She asked me what the problem was. Because she had seen that I was in a bad shape. So after I had finished explaining every thing to her, she asked me whether I could stay with her. So I accepted and we went to her home together. She first bought for me some medications for treatment, and then she gave me a lovely and delicious meal which I last had in the passed two days. I was surprised and I asked her that how did you know my best dish? Then she answered me by asking that which one is your best dish? Then I answered her that, Irish is my favorite food. She smiled back at me, although she didn’t know about that.
So after quit a long time after we had stayed together, for about eight months, she told me that ,Elizabeth try to find some where else to go cause I cant take care of you any more. I asked her why she wanted me to go away, and also what I had done that made her ask me to leave her place. She told me that you have started falling sick and you are starting to scare me. After that she told me, so please, just pack your thing and leave before you cause me problems. I tried to plead to her and to convince, but it was all in vain. Later on, that’s when she told me some thing that was really bothering her in both her mind and heart. She told me that she was afraid that her boy friend might end up falling in love with me, because of the way he was giving comment about the food I cook. That he was telling her that, I could be a good cook because my food tastes really good. So I found out that she could be jealous of me and at the same time fearing to lose her boy friend.
But am not that cheap to steal my only friends boy friend and I also I knew that no man can ever love me because of the scars that are on my whole body since I was a child. So I had to find my way out and try to start a new journey to find another place to stay. so I moved and moved not knowing where I was going to sleep, and as I was still moving, I found an open church and luckily enough there was an over night, so I ended up spending the night there though it was so cold. So the Almighty God made a way for me, and I got some one else to help me out of the situation that I was in. this young lady, asked me my names and where I stay. So I told her my name and answered her that t, I have no home, meaning that I had no where to stay.
She asked me a lot of questions. Though I couldn’t answer them all, I had to answer the few that I could. So she told me that, come let’s stay together but there are some terms and conditions you have to follow while staying with me. So I told her that, worry not, I can do and follow any thing you tell me to do. For as long as you’re helping me, don’t worry about any thing. So she started telling me her terms and conditions. She told me that I will have to wash her clothes, which was very okay with me. The other one was for me to wash her panties (knickers), which really gave me a hard shock. At first I thought that she was joking, but later on I found out that she was more than serious.
When she gave me to wash her inside panties, rather knickers, that’s when I found out that she was more than serious. And making it worse, she was in her monthly periods and she decided to give me her bloody stained panties for me to wash. that thing really hurt me so much but I had know other choice ,other than bearing the situation the way it was, because I, didn’t have any where else to go.
So later on, I told her that, I thought you were joking….then she answered me that, I meant every word I said to you. So I went on doing what she told me. But remember that she was a campus girl and she used to live in a hostel and she knew the rules of the hostel. But I never knew any rules of the hostel.
So one day the person in charge of the hostel came around. He had come to check on his payment from the people he was sheltering in his hostel. So he started moving around while checking the rooms in that very hostel. There had to be two, two people renting the double room and one in single room. So when this guy saw me, he asked a lot of questions about me.
After him getting the information that he wanted, he told the person who had brought me, to immediately ask me to leave the place in one week’s time. So the situation became very hard each and every day for me to bear. Whenever this guy could come, I could either act as if am another visitor and try to pretend that am sleeping, or go and hide under one of the beds in the room. There were two beds in the room, so that’s where I could hide most of the time when I happen to hear his voice.
So this friend of mine who had brought me, went and brought her other friend and I think that they had planned some thing to see that am chased away from there hostel. So the visiting friend of hers ended up stealing her small cd player. After she had left, this young lady whom I was staying with, started looking for her cd player.eventuallly after her looking for it, she came and asked me with a very tough voice. That where is my cd player? I answered her that, I don’t know what you are talking about. So she was like shut up, I was terrified. I thought that she was going to kill me. Then she told me that you must have stolen it and sold it to one of your friends so that you could get some money. I told her that, Rita, you know me very well for at least the few months we’ve stayed together. You know very well that am not such kind of a person, and I would never do such kind of things after all that you have done for me.
But she never wanted to listen to me and she ended up chasing me away from her place. I tried to plead to her, but it was all in vain. So I ended leaving her place not knowing where exactly I was going. I started asking my self that, after every thing I have done for her, she never believed in me? And is this how people, who are some where, do treat innocent people who are suffering. All that happened to me in the year 2006.
So after a little while, after I had met my new friend of whom I was staying with, I again met Rita and she told me how she had found her cd player. Then I was like that’s good if you found it but I think that you never trusted me and that’s why you picked a wrong impression about me. So we departed and every one took her way. And I continued staying with my new friend called and named Easter.
I stayed with Easter, for quit some time, and that’s when I got a job to work as a phone operator.
I worked there for about one month, then I fell seriously ill, and I was fired from my job. It hurt me so much because I loved working so hard though I was sick. So Easter changed, she started treating in a very weird way just because I was no longer working. After a little while after I was fired from my job, Easter also got fired from hers too. The situation at home worsened and at times we could sleep hungry. So for Easter, she knew that she was beautiful, so she decided to start detoothing men. But for me though I wasn’t feeling well, I went on looking for another job.
Time came and Easter wanted me to do the same thing that she was doing as in betrothing men, but luckily enough I wasn’t interested in her games. So I told her that Easter, I am a born again and I know that God hates fornication. And I also told her that, you know how my body looks like, what kind of man do you think can ever fall in love with me? So she kept quiet and she never said any word at all. So life went on and I got a sponsor who had heard me singing in my church. I was singing a special song, which was entitled thank you Jesus for loving me. This good person came out, after the main service, and he asked me that do you know that, you have a lovely voice to worship God?
Then I just answered him that, thank you very much sir. So he asked me whether I was in school, and I told him that I had dropped out due to lack of school fees, but I would love to go back. He told me that, he will see me .later on he called me and he told me to find a school. So I did as I was told. When my friend Easter found out that, I had gotten a sponsor, she felt bad as if she was jealous of me. So she told me to leave her place and go find some where else to stay. Luckily enough, I had some little money that, the good white man gave to me, so I used it to rent up a very small room for 15,000shillings and I paid for two months. Though it wasn’t in a good place and not good looking because it was made or built with the brown soil and above it all it was a small house where they used to rare pigs.
I couldn’t lose two things at a go. so I had to do whatever it takes to at least try to be some where in future. So as I was still ranting that small house, one day I found a snake on top of the roof, I had got back home already, and it was after 10: pm in the night. after I had finished say my prayers, I was planning to enter my bed.remember,I didn’t know that there was a snake in my room, but as I was still covering my self, I had some thing falling on the ground. So I wake up to see what it could be. Only to look and find that it was a snake. It was so big and short. I felt so afraid that I didn’t even know what to do, because I even feared to step down I tried to shout for help, but it was all in vain because every one in that area was already asleep.
What I did was to find my big woodened shoe to hit it because I had no stick in the house. So, I got on top of my bed and I waited to see which direction it was taking. Remember that I had my shoe in my hand. So what I did, I timed it coming towards the bed, and then I was lucky to target its head. With all the fearful courage I had in me, I don’t know how it turned in to strength. I had to hit the snake so very had to see that its head turns into small particles. After hitting it, I had some paraffin in the room so got it, put the snake on a charcoal stove and I poured the paraffin on the charcoal stove and I lit it to total destruction. It took me about two weeks to forget what I had done to the snake and for its smell to go away from my resent room. So next day I was supposed to go to meet my sponsor and pick up my school fees for that term. This good person sponsored me for a bout one term and he got knocked down by a car, he got a problem with his back so he had to go back to his home country, and he had no time to tell me.
I think that he thought that I would be hurt If he had told me that he was leaving and never to come back. Which was true of him because when I found out that he had left the country, it did hurt me so bad that I ended up crying a lot and at the same time asking my self a lot of questions? So time came and life was too hard for me to bear, I decided to find out where my dad was. So tried my best to see that I raise transport to take me to where my so called dad was, after I had found out that he was staying in afar away country Kigali/Rwanda.
I tried to wash peoples clothes as in doing the laundering for people and they could give 1000 Ugandan shillings, every day I do the lauderring.Going to Kigali was costing shillings 25,000 Ugandan and it took me two weeks to raise that amount of money. After I had raised the money, I made sure that the following day; I had to leave my lovely country going to a foreign country, all In search of my so called dad. When I reached the city Kigali, because I had all the directions to him, I told the mortal bike man to take me to fair construction company where he used to work from.
So when I had reached there, I told the security guy that, am look for Mr. Emmanuel mugisha.later, he was called down, and indeed, he came and he couldn’t recognize me at all cause by the time he had disappeared from us, me and my little sister the last born, we where still very young. So he asked me who I was so I told him the name that he liked calling me way back when I was still a baby. At first he treated me well, but latter when my step mum came, the man changed into some one very bad that I had forgotten about.
So after that my step mum introduced her self to me, only to find out that, she was the same woman who stole away my late beloved mum’s husband. The so called first house maid. After two days had past, the two of them really showed me their true colours. With out me forgetting the true colours of my dad, the way I heard how he used to treat my late mum so bad. So time came and my step mum wet back to wherever she was coming from, to check on her children and she left me with our dad. She told me a word when she was leaving that, if you’ve come for money, I promise you that, you won’t get a dime.
So after one day when my step mum had left, my dad truly showed me his true colours.he went for an outing and he came back in the night at around 9: am, I had gone for a short call out side the house, because that’s where it was. So when my dad came back, I wasn’t inside. He entered and locked the door with the key and went to sleep. So when I came back from there, I knocked and kindly requested him to open for me. But he refused and told me to go back to wherever I was coming from. For he thought that, I had gone out with men. But I tried to talk to him so that he could believe me, but I saw it in his eyes when he came over to the window, that he wouldn’t believe me. He locked me out of his house for about a month and I spent one week sleeping on a verandah. Then one day some woman found me sleeping on the verandah, and she asked me what the problem was. I told her every thing, and she tried to plead to my dad, but he wasn’t willing to understand and to forgive. So this woman took me to her home and I stayed there for some good time. Though she wasn’t financially stable, but she did a better job of taking care of me than my dad.
One day this woman told me that, tomorrow morning, wake up and go to the police and report your dad. But I didn’t act as first as she expected. Though my dad was a very funny man, I wouldn’t have loved to see him suffering in prison. I would prefer seeing him in the God’s pay back time. So time came and I fell sick, I went to see my dad whether he can help me with some money for my treatment. I thought that at least he would help me with some good money, for me to buy a full dose. But he ended up giving two hundred Rwandan francs, which wasn’t even enough for the
A quarter of the treatment that I needed at that time.
I didn’t show him what I was thinking so, I thanked him in a humble way, and then I left him in peace. Reaching home, the woman whom I was staying with, asked me how much I had gotten from my dad. I showed her the money and she became very bitter. She told me that, you will have to go to police and report this irresponsible man. After all, I was also angry at him. so, what I did the following day, I went to the police station in Kigali and I reported him. Reaching the police station, I talked to the police man who was there, but he told me that they can’t help me since am not from their country.
He also told me that the only thing we can do for you, is by talking to your dad so that he can give you transport and you go back to you home country, other than you suffering from a foreign country. So we went home together, and he asked me that I should be the one to knock. so when I knocked on the door, my step mum was the first to come out and later on my dad followed her .they pretend to be happy to have me back home, but as soon as the police man talked to my dad, I heard my dad saying to the police man that, don’t worry, I will give her transport so that she can go back to her home country. But me I knew the type of dad I had.
So as soon as I saw the police man going, I knew that I was dead. Not surprising, as soon as the police man left, my step mum pulled me by my ear, and entered the house, she locked the door and told me that today I will have to show you where you deserve to be. She asked me that, you wanted my husband to be jailed not so? Ok watch and see what is going to be done to you, this very day. She got out a rope and started beating me. She gave me hot strokes and canes and I started calling for God’s help. For I knew that if I call for my mum’s help, for her she’s already in her grave. For my dad, I knew he enjoyed what was being done to me, and he was just waiting for my death.
My step mum hit me so bad, that I had to I collapsed. After little while, as I had collapsed, she continued beating me, a friend of my dad came home, and he found when my step mum is beating me seriously. So, he looked carefully, and he asked her that, the person your beating, as she’s not turning or even shaking? Later, he realized that the person he was talking to was only enjoying and going ahead with the beating, and not minding whether am still a live or dead. So this good man, tried to push her away from me, and held me in his arms, and he rushed me to the hospital. After something like some hours, I gained back my conscious. So he told me every thing, and how I happened to be admitted. After that, he asked me some few questions, what I had done that led me to such beatings. So after I had told him every thing, after one day, I was discharged, this good man took me to stay at his home with his wife.
Later on, I heard that he had talked to my dad and he was sorry for the way he had treated me. My dad had given him my transport to take me back to my home country Uganda. So he gave it to me and after I had gained back my strength, I went at my dad’s work place to thank him. Then the next day, I left the country Kigali/Rwanda going back to my home country. Reaching my home country, I called a friend to my beloved sister Doreen, and I asked her where I could find her.luckly enough, she told me that they where renting some where in Makerere.
So I went there and we began staying together. Time came and my uncle, who was sponsoring Doreen failed to continue paying for her both rent and her tuition. Doreen loved studying so much and same applied to me. She felt so bad as soon as she was told the sad news. So life became so had that, we even failed to pay for the room we were staying in, and the landlord, ended up throwing our properties out of the house. Later that same day, I was told to find my way. Because every one, indeed had to find his or her own way to shelter. My sister and brother, never enjoyed seeing me cry and suffer, but because they couldn’t help me, that’s why at time they would feel that am a burden to them. So I had to move not knowing where I was going, and I started asking my self a lot of questions, which never had any answers.
So I went, stood some where near William Street in Kampala city and I sat some where waiting for cars to be packed so that I can sleep under them. I had people that I knew as relatives, but when I reached in such a condition, that’s when I got to know that in the world, I was all alone. I ended up starting to doze from there as I was seated, and a funny man came from no where and he asked me what I was doing there. I answered him that am waiting for my sister to come and pick me up. though I had a different answer in my head which was true. So he left me and went away.
Me in my head I thought that the man had left for good, not knowing that he was some where watching me. So I started dozing again. And eventually he came back and grabbed me and he tore my trouser because it was not that tight on me then he tore my panty too, and he ended up raping me. Although I tried to scream out for help, it was all in vain because no one could hear me and run to my rescue. So after that he left and went away for a while. I thought that the stupid guy had left, so I stood up so very fast and started running, though I was in pain, but he ended up running after me and he fell on me then he raped me again.
The second time when he raped me, I collapsed. So I didn’t know what happened next. Then, when I gained back my conscious, I found people surrounding me very early in the morning, and I think it was around six something in the morning. I just stood up and I wasn’t feeling well, so I ended up walking slowly by slowly. Though people tried to talk to me, I couldn’t answer them back.
I walked in a lot of pain then after I stopped some where and some young lady saw me and had pity on me so she offered to help me. So we went to her home and I stayed there for quit some good time. Then later on, I moved to some where else, after realizing that she was worried about her boy friend falling in love with me. Am this kind of person, who doesn’t like hurting others.
As soon as I happen to find out that am beginning to hurt you, I decide to leave you in peace or give you your peace. So I had to go and stay with my sister, who was staying with some friend of hers. Later on, I started falling sick and my body started to develop funny wounds and soars. Although I grew up sickly, and having the skin reaction problem, but this time round it was too much for me to bear. So I went to the man of God so that he can tell me what exactly was bothering me. The man of God asked me a very sensitive question that, Elizabeth, do you know your status? I looked at him and immediately my conscious I reminded me of what people used to say when I was still young, and I also remembered how I got raped on the street.
I started to cry while answering him that, no man of God, I know nothing about my status. He advised me to go for a test and I test for HIV. I walked away from his presence not knowing what to tell him, I acted as some one who had lost her senses. And I asked a lot of questions to my self. And I was indeed in a dilemma where by I entered the road with out knowing any thing and I was a bout to be knocked down by a car. I don’t know where my sister came from, and she called out my name saying that, Elizabeth watch out your going to be knocked down by a car. But I heard her voice as some one who was in a dream, and eventually I collapsed in the middle of the road.
I didn’t know whether the car hit me but when I came back to my senses, I immediately felt a lot of pain in my left leg. Luckily, I was rushed to the hospital by the very man who had knocked me down. And my leg was checked and it never had any fracture. It only had some swelling and blood clots inside it. And there, I thanked God for saving me. But that was the begining, because it didn’t save me from wanting to commit sucide.later on I was convinced by my sister Doreen, that I should go with her and she will be by my side, she also told me that she was going to test too. So we went to new Mulago hospital and we tested together. We waited for them but as soon as I heard that for her she was negative, I never wanted to see mine because I knew that it was time for my enemies to make me their laughing stock. So when the nurse brought my results, she told me that your results are found reactive. I asked her what do you mean by that kind of saying. She was like, they are reactive. I told her madam, please all I want to hear is whether am positive or negative because these things of yours, the reactive issues, and I do not under stand them. So please try to be open to me.
And that’s when she told me that, we’ve found that, you are HIV positive. Even before she had finished, I pretended to be strong but I couldn’t hold back my tears. It was unbearable for me. I left my sister in the hospital and I ran away. All I wanted was for a car to knock me down and it smashes me into small peaces. So I went in the middle of the road and I stood there while closing my eyes in a very depressed way. But it surprised me that all cars where just by passing me.
So I said that if no one wants to knock me down, then let me go to some restaurant and buy some good food so that I can put in some poison and find my way to death and to the grave. But you know what, as I went and bought the poison, I came and mixed it in my food, the food started smelling so bad that I couldn’t put it in my mouth. But I had to force my self to eat it, not until I felt like vomiting. And truly I did vomit all the poison and food at the same time. Time came my sister looked for me not until she found me, cause she knew what I was capable of doing. She tried talking to me but I wouldn’t listen because of the way I was crying. So I told her to first leave me alone for while, so that I can first calm down. So she did exactly as I had asked her. And after a few hours, I went back home and all this happened in the year 2008. After some time, like about two months, my body started developing swellings at the same time rotting due to too much infection in my body, and I think my C.D4 counts were getting low. So I was directed by a Good Samaritan to go to Mu-jhu centre
Luckily enough, the person who was trying to accommodate my sister, knew where Mu-jhu was found. So he took me and my sister, plus her lovely new husband up to Muju.So when we reached muju, I met there a good counselor who handled me the way I wanted. So later on I met a good doctor too who was always counseling me and helping me to try and speak out what’s really hurting me deep down in my heart. He also used to give me drugs. that helped eels the burning pain that I had on the rotting wounds that were on my entire body and around my entire head After that, I was transferred to IDI (infectious Disease Institute).when I reached there, I was retested and they told me that my C.D4s were so low, and the doctor advised me to start ARVs as soon as possible. But at least they gave me some medication which helped me on how to heal the wounds that were on my entire body, from the head to the toes.
At first, I feared being started on the ARVs, because I thought that if you are put on the ARVs, you die immediately. So one day I developed a lot of pain in my left arm, the arm was too pain full that I couldn’t even try to dress or bathe my self. then I was brought back to IDI and they did all the tests on my had, they tried there best to find out what was exactly causing the pain, only to find out that I had cellulites. And I was told that if I happen not to treat the infection, I might develop cancer.
I was in a lot of pain, and tears, and I was told to raise some big amount of money so that I can get treated. They told us that we don’t have the medication; otherwise we would have treated you for free. Then my sister asked how much would the treatment cost. The doctor answered that, it will cost Ugandan money, 140, 000shs.immediately I heard the amount of money, I screamed, and I asked my sister that, where are we going to get such kind of money. There was some white doctor, who saw me crying, she helped me 40000shs.she told me that please, this is all I have on me now, but I wouldn’t love to see you dead or your hand being cut off so please try your best and find the rest of the money and go for complete treatment.
She told me that if you happen to miss one injection, this treatment won’t work for you. Remember that, my sister when she heard of the amount of money that we were told, for her she went out side and she sat there. So when I went out side, she started to quarrel that, you know we are orphans even the few relatives we have can’t help us, and you’re here getting expensive sicknesses, where do you think we are going to get that kind of money? She asked me that, do you want me to sell my self so that I can treat you. Then I started crying.
And these are the other words she said to me, after seeing that I was hurt and crying. she said to me that, its not that I want to treat you the way am treating you now, but its because I feel bad, when I see you in pain, being rejected and not settled in one place, and at same time I feel like I want to help you but I cant, that’s why I end up treating you like this and I start feeling like your are a burden to me. So after she had finished talking, I showed her the money that the white doctor had given to me. And when she became happy, I was happy too. So we went to some Indian pharmacy near Mulago hospital, and we wanted at least to buy four bottles of the medication that I was told to buy ,with the beginning of the money that we were given. Reaching the pharmacy, we found that the money we have can buy eight bottles for the injection treatment. Doreen became very happy. And she told me that, she will try to at least borrow the 30,000shs for the remaining six bottles. But I thank God that, every one she could borrow from the money, they were willing to help and give her freely, with out her paying them back.
Later on when I got healed, and I had just started my ARVs that was in 2008 December. The person, who was helping her, told her that she should find me some where else I can stay. She came and told me every thing and she told me that, I don’t know how to help you this time round. I also didn’t answer her. Because this thing, of not being settled down in one place, there is a way it could affect my treatment of taking the ARVs.i could miss it most of the times, because I could sit down and I ask my self where I was going to swallow it from, and what I was going to eat before taking my drugs. I used to worry so much, and I could develop a lot of stress, due to that same problem.
So I just told her that, don’t worry, God will make away. I told her that, but I had some thing else in my head. The next day was a peer support day and I had to be there because, I thought that, on that day, it could be the end of my life.
I had a plan in my head that, if I happen to be given some thing to eat or some thing to drink, I shall use it to take the over dozed tablets that I had bought. As I was planning to do that, my heart told me that I should talk to some one who is my friend, and she was there on that same day.
Luckily enough she was willing to listen. So I told her every thing and how I wanted to commit suicide so, she offered to help me, and we went and leaved together for about five months. Before the period of five months, she little by little, started to change in around the third month. She could quarrel almost every after two days, just because I wasn’t contributing to the house rent.
And I came to realize that every thing I was doing, it was all in vain. So time came she told me to look for a job so that I can begin to work. When she said that, I realized that I was beginning to be so dependant on her. But any way, on the other hand, she was a hundred percent right. So I started looking for jobs, but it was all in vain. the first two jobs that I got, were to work in a restaurants, but they all needed some one who puts on short skirts, which I don’t like putting on because of the scars that I have all over my body. So I ended up failing to get them, due to that problem of my lovely skin and body. After when that friend of mine found out that I can’t be employed, she kept quiet and kept the rest of the words to her self.
So as time passed by, I fell in love for some one that my heart, had yearned for. So I sent to him a message and I told him what I was feeling for him. You know in this world there are some things we really have to believe in like, if one is HIV positive, it doesn’t mean that the person has lost her God created feelings in him or her. Instead there feeling keep on growing as soon as they find the one there hearts are yearning for. So it’s the same thing that happened to me before, though it didn’t work out for me. I loved this guy so much, up to the extent of falling sick.
So time came and the illness was just increasing, and I had found out that he might be the reason as to why am falling sick, because I knew what kind of person he was, so I had to ask him to be a man and speak out what is inside of him. so that very day he sent me a text message and he told me that, you have asked me to be a man, so this is what I have to say to you, I can’t love you, because am some one who runs away from love. Meaning that he is some one who fears love. later on he sent me another text message saying that, am so sorry but am in love with some one else who is your best friend. That word really hurt me so bad. it caused me to think that no man would ever be interested in me because of the way I look like with all these scars on my body, and that means that I shall never have any children in my future.
It also caused me to remember what my ex boy friend did to me. for my ex boy friend’s case, it was different because for him, his the one who was so much in love with me, but me I wasn’t, because I grew up knowing that no man can ever love me the way Iam and that kind of thinking got stuck in my head. (I mean that no man can ever fall in love with me because of the scars that I have all over my body and above it all, no man can ever fall in love with me because Iam HIV positive.).And that’s why I never gave my self to him. So one day I went to his place to inform him that, there was some one who wanted to offer him a job. When I reached there, I found him making love to another girl who was my friend while I was still working in the Chinese shop. That day, I felt like I had lost all hope in men, just like I was brought up without a dad. I never knew that I could fall in love with some one else, and the same thing happens to me. So time came and I told my friend about it, we sat down and we discussed about it the two of us. She assured me how she is capable of letting him down if he ever tells her that he is in love with her. But me I knew her very well, she was a kind of person, who gets so weak when it comes to men. What do I mean? I mean that she’s someone, who any man can get at any time he feels like he wants her.
At first, it used to hurt me so bad. But in my heart, I heard a voice telling me that, true love doesn’t hate, true love forgives, true love doesn’t envy and true love is patient, meaning, true love waits. So after listening to my heart I said to my self, he’s not worth of my love and tears, I should pray to God to give me a good husband other than falling for young guys who are not going to make me feel who really iam supposed to be or who give me such a hard time. So I made a decision, that let me faithfully wait up on the only one who will truly love me for who Iam and not for what am not. So I ended up giving up on the boy friend and girl friend staff, so that I can focus to bright lovely future.
After some time this friend of mine advised me to go find money so that I can rent up a room and settle down on my own. Which wasn’t a bad idea .because I also wanted to be better in future, by beginning a life of my own and continue searching for a job so that, I can start being some one who is responsible in life and to wards other people and without leaving out my self as well. what really hurt me while I was still staying with this friend of mine, was that she used to teach me how to open up and say what’s really in my heart, but in the end of it all, she ended up thinking that I was lying to her about my passed life.
One day when she had given me the advice, I held up my head and stood in faith, I prayed to God, said to him that heavenly father, I want to be happy, and I believe that you can grant me the happiness I need from you. So please I request you to be my gate. That as I go out, I go out through you and hoping, believing for the best results from you Amen. I moved out, but before going I told my friend that am going out to find my happiness and a job so that I can begin a life of my own, just like you told me. I never told her where I was going because I really didn’t have any Idea about where I was going as well. So I left, and surprisingly, God made a way where seemed to be no way. God made away for me, through some one very special, and very important that I can never forget the help that he rendered to me in the time where by I was disparate. This person really gave me the beginning of a happy, lovely, smiling life. I didn’t expect it, but God was faithful enough to do it for me through him.
I went back home smiling, and gave the good news to her.Although, while I stayed with her I developed a heart of not trusting any one not even her or my self. She was very happy for me, although I knew the deepest reason that was making her so happy. So I requested her to kindly come with me, so she can see where I was going to be staying.
Then we went to my new home with her and she saw where I was going to stay, and later on I started living a new life and hoping for the best in future. With out leaving my God aside, but putting him ahead of my life and future. Although life wasn’t so fair to me in beginning, I still believe that it shall not be the same in the end. Time came and I begun to work, at first work went so very well. After a fue months, I started falling sick again and this time round it was even much worse than what I expected. I believe this was because I never used to take my drug regularly as I had explained my self in the beginning. I fell sick for quit some time and I was put on oxygen for two week. This used to happen almost every month of the year. Remember that I hadn’t told you that, during that process while I was still admitted at International hospital Kampala, I reached a moment where by I couldn’t eat, drink or go out (in the wash rooms )like a normal person due to the serious infection that I had inside my body.
My lower body part had stopped functioning completely. I kept on getting more and weaker in my body, and I felt like my life was soon coming to an end. Without any sign of hope or change, latter on they got for me the best doctor in the international hospital Kampala who was Dr.Maria Da-abellah, she is a physician who helped me gain back my life. The first thing she found out as soon as she started working on was that I had a very low blood pressure and that I also had a serious infection in my osofegas.She immediately recommended me to take several serious blood tests, a barium swallow and she gave an order for me to be put in the city scan. In the end of it all, all her suspicions were right. She dedicated all her time just to see me getting better.
She kept on prescribing several treatments for me according to how my condition was. And she kept on coming to check on me from time to time, helping me to exercise so that I could stabiles in my body, legs and in my movements. Remember that I hadn’t told you that, while I was admitted, I spent three weeks without moving as well and I was so help less since I couldn’t go off the oxygen for the very first two weeks plus the other one week that I had spent terribly weak while the lower part of my body wouldn’t function. As Dr. Da-abellah was still my doctor and physician, she helped me learn how to walk again and how to balance my body on my two legs.
I kept on getting better and better each day. I also started getting a small appetite for me to be able to eat and drink. At first it was so hard for me to eat, since my esophagus was terribly infected. Every time I could try to eat or drink, I could end up feeling a lot of pain in my chest and back most especially where the food and drinks used to pass inside my body. Time came and I started refusing to eat or drink due to the too much pain I used to feel while eating and drinking. It was so painful and unbearable. The doctor told me that if at all you don’t want to eat, they shall be forced to putt a tube that will help pass the food to my stomach inside of me.
Since I knew how painful that tube was, and the pain experience while eating, I told the doctor that its better I try eating on my own other than letting you put that thing (tube) inside of me. I began to by drinking very small drops of drinks but while being spoon fed as well with soup. Every time my sister Doreen tried to feed me, since the pain was too much and so unbearable, I could tell her in a lot of pain and tears, that ‘’the drinks and the soup you keep feeding me hurt me so bad’ then she answers me saying that she never wanted to lose me and end up seeing me dead that’s why she had no other choice other than forcing me to keep drinking both the drinks and the soup. Doreen didn’t give up at all even if she used to hurt too whenever she saw me cry due to the too much pain I used to go through whenever she tried to feed me.
Every time she could feed me, she had to make sure that she had better be ready to massage me as soon as she gives me a sip of anything to drink, she used to massage me smoothly just to cool down the pain and for me to be able to calm down a little. It wasn’t an easy job for her to nurse some one who was as delicate as I was by then. She had to be very careful on how she handles me, takes care of me and on how to feed me. While in the hospital, I started getting so worried about my health but most especially my job because I was afraid of losing it, in other words, I was afraid of getting fired from my God given job since it was my only source of income and support I only had. I loved my job so much to the extent that I made sure that I get well soon, so that I get back and find my job. As soon as I got well, after a period of two days, I was switched to the second line of ARTs/ARVs which is Alluvia and Combivor.
Later I begun to work again at my lovely job as a Front Desk Officer (Receptionist).Some months passed while I was trying to get used to my new second line that I was switched to, and remember that the on and off illnesses hadn’t stopped yet due to my too low CD4 count which was 5 by the time I was and had left IHK.Time came and every time I could forget to do my assignments in time, or if I happen to forget any one of them, my supervisor would get mad at me. I kept on worrying so much to the extent that whenever I could do a small mistake in one way or the other or start falling sick while on duty, I could end up fearing that my supervisor may get mad at me because of my unstable health condition which used to cause me to for get some of my assignments incase Iam given a big number of them.
As time went on, my contract was renewed and that made me very happy and surprised as well. I felt that at least God had given me a second chance for me to be able to correct my mistakes and prove my faithfulness towards him and his people. Still with time, I was also able to gain back the favor that I had once lost before. I stopped having on and off illness, my CD4 counts keeps rising over and over again and now they have rose up to 385. Iam once again strong enough to take care of my life, and I would also love to get a sponsor to help me further my studies for a bright future and I higher well paying job and while hoping to live a happy normal life focusing towards a bright lovely future and looking forward to my success in my career and also to travel nations and share my story with different types of people around the world, most especially those that are in the same state/condition with me (those who have lost hope). All in all, I have come to realize that HIV /Aids must stop with me alone and not to be spread to any one else. Today I live to say to my self, well done Elizabeth! Today you live, thanks to your God for your persiviarance, confidence and determination. I give all the glory back to the Mighty God of Israel and Elizabeth.
Thank you and stay blessed.
Composed and written by,
Elizabeth Kembabazi Mercy
P.O BOX 22418
Tel: +256785 874 899/+256703 800 482
Do you have a story or an article to publish? Please email us to firstname.lastname@example.org.