from a female LIB reader
I have been married for 10+ years and thought I was happily married till some weeks ago. From the fourth year into my marriage my mom advised us to take on 2 female relatives. One was 22 and the other 13 at that time. In 2010, we noticed that the older of the girls had become so close to my husband to the point that anyone could easily conclude they were intimate. She became rude to me but got closer to my husband and he never saw anything wrong with her attitude. He would take her to school (UNILAG) and pick her up regularly. He would gladly buy the exact items for her and myself whenever he traveled. Several times he gave her large sums without my consent or knowledge but thankfully it all came out through her mom. Continue…
He blurted out once that she had STD and I was quite embarrassed that he would know that about her if nothing was going on. In the end we decided she couldn’t go on living in my house and my mom came to take her away her even though my husband kicked against it furiously. The younger one stayed on and that is now my greatest undoing.
She grew up quickly and she is now 20 and in her second year in University. She recently sent her Dad (who lives in Lagos) a suicide message stating that she was going to kill herself if she is allowed to continue staying with us. Her dad has now called me to say he followed up with the suicide message and she confided in him that my husband disvirgined her at 15 and had continued to sleep with her till she put up some resistance late last year. She said he is also with her roommate and claimed to have seen a message from the girl to my husband implicating him. She also said that she had caught my husband and the older girl that left in 2010 in suspicious positions before the girl was sent away.
I have confronted him with all these and he is not giving tangible reasons to disbelieve the girl. Truth is I know he did these things because of other things the girl told me that I have since confirmed one of which is that he brought a stray girl (18 yrs) into our home under the guise that she was a distant cousin’s daughter. It turned out he met her randomly and merely chatted her up.
My Pastors have intervened and told me all these are true but that “he is a man and will never openly admit it now”. They are asking me to let go for the sake of my children and the marriage. I am however upset that he will get off this easily and the innocent girl will not get justice. Should I cover his sins and appeal to the girl’s father who has indicated that he will do as I advise or should I insist that he is made to apologize to the girl? I keep thinking what if she is my own daughter!! I am at my wits end trying to figure out if I should act as a wife or a mother! Will a good wife cover her husband’s sins???