When it comes to intimacy and sex with your long-term partner, don’t set yourself up for disappointment by expecting things to always go the way you expect them to. Always remember that your partner brings their own expectations to the bedroom too. Being willing to compromise a little can set you up for a better time than usual under the covers.

If you’re finding your long term relationship a little mundane in the bedroom, get proactive. Here are ways to rekindle the romance:

Just the two of you

While we’re all about living the fantasy, sometimes being a little more in touch with reality offers more satisfaction than we realise. Instead of insisting on romantic movie-style sex, or sex out of a porn film, focus on the unique connection the two of you have. Take your focus off the “ideal” that’s portrayed by Hollywood and the like, and start to really look at your relationship with your partner.

Change the routine

Many of us will admit that there’s a pattern to the way we make love. Change it. Even if it means moving things to a different room of the house, make sure your lovemaking varies from time to time. If you’re both willing to give new things a try, why not incorporate a ribbed condom, a sex toy, some porn or a game into the proceedings?

Keep things slippery

Don’t forget the tube of lube. Increase the enjoyment for both of you with a little added lubrication. The chances are that being more comfortable will make your partner a little more adventurous.

Make a compromise

Sometimes, a bit of compromising can go a long way. You might like wearing those fluffy socks to bed, but perhaps kicking them off and wearing some lacy underwear once in a while isn’t such a bad idea. The point is that communicating with one another over compromises you can make in the bedroom can help improve general satisfaction for all concerned.

Share your fantasies

Don’t keep them bottled up. Share your sexual fantasies with your partner and let them choose how to fulfill them.

Be honest

If something isn’t working for you, pipe up and say it. Be gentle though — you don’t want to scare your partner off of sex with you forever — rather, gently stop them and suggest alternative moves. Or if you’re really not into cafoofling, suggest you resume proceedings later.

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