How Christianity Almost Ruined My Sex-Life – Can’t we talk about Sex in Religious Homes?

By IndepthAfrica
In Eritrea
Mar 20th, 2014
Sex & Religion

Sex & Religion

[Warning: might be a bit TMI][NSFW] (self.TrueAtheism)

And pardon the possible disorganization, this is a stream of consciousness that I’ve been wanting to share for a while… It’s a little long, but bear with me…

For the first 15 years of my life I was Christian girl. When I was a young child, I didn’t know much about any other life outside of being a Christian. I thought everyone went to church and believed in Jesus Christ. My parents didn’t say a word about any other faith to me. I started to understand what it meant to be a Christian after moving halfway across the country to the east coast. I had lost all my friends from my original home. There was solace in church. I didn’t think much of it. I don’t think I thought at all, in fact. I went along with it and followed the pre-teens to retreats. I had fun and volunteered to be baptized with the FULLEST OF HEARTS A CHRISTIAN COULD EVER HAVE.

I was very devout. I know what it’s like to “feel God” or “Jesus” or “the Holy Spirit”. It is a VERY powerful psychological and emotional experience. So much so that attempts to feel it again can lead to irrational, dangerous acts and thoughts. Anyway, at church I saw hypocrisy all around me that contradicted the bible that I had read and followed: Homosexuality, drunkeness, drug use, adultery… Even in my age group. It pushed me further into my corner. Alone with God. I witnessed — looking from the outside in — sex destroying some of my peers’ sanity and coming very close to ruining a family member’s life.

NO ONE ever talked to me about sex. Ever. I think by the time I was in middle school, the only thing I knew for sure about sex was: penis + vagina = sex… and that was it. I avoided movies and TV shows that depicted sex. Those that I accidentally witnessed always depicted it in a scandalous light, as if it were something evil or — if it was nice — had extreme negative consequences. The parents didn’t speak to me about this. I avoided conversations at school. I thought it was evil because that was what had been taught to me in church and strengthened with what I had witnessed in my life. I had the internet, but I did not go to sites that would properly educate me on this stuff. It didn’t interest me.

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  • ShawnCurtisLacey

    Yes, we can talk about it; it is called being a wh========ore! Maybe not of Babylon, but one nonetheless! Do not blame Christianity, Jesus, God, the Church or the choir for whatever lust you decide to partake!

  • Jamal

    Christianity was not your problem. Your parents and your church were. The bible states ” Woman submit to your wives but it also instructs husbands to submit to their wives and protect her like Christ submitted to and protected the church and would die for her. Your parents and sunday school teachers lied to you. Secondly, Sex is not evil, It is or is not based on the context. Sex done in a monogamous loving relationship is healthy but sex done just for no reason is not. Sex is not solely for procreation it can be for fun inside of marriage.

  • Chris Dagostino

    Hey Shawn – go take a long walk on a short plank.

    To the author – what you’re describing is called vaginismus, and it’s common in religious women. I’m a guy, but this stuff affects us too. I associated shame and guilt with my sexuality growing up, and it ruined me. I wish you all the best.