S.Africa: All the president’s wives

Khaya Dlanga

I can’t help but think that I may have had something to do with the president’s latest wedding.

Perhaps I should take responsibility to the taxpayers because you dear taxpayer will be maintaining the lifestyle of the president’s newest wife. You’re also paying for the lifestyle of his other three wives. But I would be giving myself far too much credit.

Congratulations, Mr President! May your libido last long and continue to prosper!

On his birthday, I wrote the following tweet: “Happy birthday to President Jacob Zuma. I wish him many more – wives.” President Jacob Gedleyihlekisa Zuma, at the ripe young age of 70, will be tying the knot again at the weekend in a traditional ceremony in his Nkandla homestead to his fiancée, Gloria Bongekile Ngema.

This will be our president’s sixth wedding. Currently, he has three wives. In case you don’t know their names, let me assist you. These are their names: MaNtuli Zuma, Tobeka Madiba-Zuma and MaKhumalo Zuma. One of his wives committed suicide and the other, the most famous one of the lot, Nkosazana Dlamini-Zuma divorced him many years ago.

Hugh Hefner’s libido has nothing on the man from Nkandla. In fact, when Hugh Hefner dreams, he dreams he died and woke up as Jacob Zuma.

We have to be honest now though when it comes to these presidential marriages. His marriages are out of hand – now we have to use a second hand to count the number of marriages he has had. He is certainly becoming the Elizabeth Taylor of presidents. Although he beats Ms Taylor by the mere fact that he keeps his wives – well, generally. Of course our dear president has nothing on King Mswati of Swaziland.

Apparently a video was shown of the president answering 70 questions from his daughters on his 70th birthday. In answering one of the questions, Zuma said that he would happily go on a date with Helen Zille. I want to see this happen. I think he needs a white wife. I’m sure the president does not doubt that his charms would work on the leader of the DA and Western Cape. I think Helen Zille should accept the date and tweet about it too.

I also think that the president should demonstrate the diversity of our nation by marrying a white, coloured and Indian woman. Having said that, I think Helen is the perfect candidate for a white wife. Unfortunately she is taken. So it will be tough going for him if he thinks he can get her.

Lindiwe Mazibuko on the other hand is the one who must be worried. I wouldn’t be surprised if the president made some advances in the near future. The president will certainly try hit on her because on his birthday, when his daughters asked him what he likes in his women, he replied and said, “I like one with some body.” Mazibuko should do something if she wants to avoid a potential marriage proposal coming her way.

I would like to congratulate the president on his on new marriage. I bet many men want to know what his secret is. Let’s face it, getting married to a fourth wife at the ripe old age of 70 is no child’s play. The man is a legend.

One of the funniest tweets I read about the president must have been from @PriMenoe: “You gotta envy our President Dr Rev Zuma. He’s a Widower, Divorcee, Husband & a Fiancé all in one”

Those who have a “moral” problem with him getting married again, have to look at their Bibles at first. He is not running a church. The Apostle Paul in his letter to Timothy, otherwise known as 1 Timothy 3:2, says to Timothy “an elder should have but one wife” as he instructs him on what a leader of the church should be like. Zuma does not lead a church, he leads a country.

Finally, he is not breaking any laws; the constitution gives him the right to marry as many women he wants. The women he married have not been forced or coerced into doing anything. So let’s relax. Besides, he’s paying for his own wedding, the state isn’t.

Would I marry as many women as he has? I think one mother-in-law is more than enough.

– Follow Khaya on Twitter.

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