By Safi Abdi

A fulltime homemaker, and native of Somalia, I can tell you that I have firsthand knowledge of both of these two entities and know full well how they operate; so you would say, I am certainly not talking out of my hat.

Reason tells us that when you want to build a house for yourself, there’s a few things that you would need to do. And unless you are a spider, or uncivilized, you wouldn’t make a dash for your neighbor’s house, without taking into consideration the consequences of your actions. Therefore, the first thing you’ll need to do before you embark on your project is to secure a space of your own, so as to build your home on safe grounds.

We do not need a scientist to tell us what spiders do when they get the urge for accommodation. As any housewife would tell you, you may go off on that vacation, but don’t you blame me if you find little aliens dangling down from your ceiling or from under your bed, on your return.

In case you didn’t know, spiders don’t know how to ask, nor do they have any scruples about messing up your system.

That is how they are, they just follow their instincts. But you can’t blame them, they are insects. So Halal and Haram is definitely the last thing on their tiny brains as they hook up those smart nets of theirs and prop up their scrawny legs in the corners of your living space.

If spiders had any sense, or didn’t
have such short memories they would think twice before gate-crashing other people’s properties.  But spiders are spiders, and no matter how many spiders lose their lives in someone else’s kitchen, spiders never learn.

You’d never catch a spider warning a friend about the dangers of curling up in other people’s beds: Ok guys, forget those looted settlements. Let’s just back our bags and look for a place of our own. That way, we get to live longer, and our homes get to stand longer.

But no, no, put that foot of yours out, or get lazy for a day or two, and Voila! They sniff the air: Wow! Empty! And dusty! And without further ado your property becomes their living quarters.

They get married right there beneath your TV set; they conceive their babies behind your PC; eat up their spouses behind your oven; bring their offspring into the world behind your dressing mirror, and eat them up, too, therein, and this happens all the while you are queuing up for security check at some airport or other.

Unfortunately, Silanyo’s Somaliland does not fare any better. As Khaatumites and Awdalites will tell you, Silanyo’s Somaliland was similarly conceive and similarly weaved…. while the boys were out. But fortunately for world peace, the boys are back and are now in full swing doing what any returning homeowner would do

By the same token, the first thing any housewife would do upon her return is that she rolls up her sleeves and she gets to work on the dust, and if any spiders are caught red-handed in the cleanup process, believe me, no housewife worth her salt will shed a tear: Bloody usurpers, they had it coming!

For the past two decades the leaders of North Western Somalia have been spinning and weaving an idea called Somaliland; a tyrannical project that was as inconsiderate as it was unachievable. But, odd as it was, the idea soon became like a virus; a virus that infected the minds and psyches of many people, Somalis and non-Somalis alike. And we all began parroting the same name, “Somaliland”.

Men and women, adults and children, scholars and laymen, elders and presidents, everyone got the virus, the Somaliland bug. Nobody was safe, not even our own beloved President, Hassan Sheikh Mohamoud. His Excellency did not recline in his seat long enough before he, too, got infected by the spreading virus, the Somaliland condition.

It was as if everyone was paid to promote it; it was as if everyone was paid to carry it; to make it happen, make it sound credible, and feasible.  With no one having any plans or idea as to how and where this “Somaliland house” was to be built…Legally, that is.

Not only did our President congratulate Silanyo on his phony elections, the President of Somalia also endorsed his predecessor’s ill-advised notion of the alleged “Two-Nation- In- Talk-Theory”.

But what the wronged peoples of Awdal, Makhir and Khaatumo State of Somalia will tell you is that they already are Somalis and that they are not part of that program. As far as they are concerned there’s only one Somalia. Anyone who wishes to have a private dialogue with Silanyo’s Somaliland is more than welcome. There is, however, a burning issue that needs to be addressed, sooner rather than later, and that is the futility of building an exclusive home for yourself in someone else’s territory.

Safi Abdi